On Her Shoulders

“There is a light this world. A healing spirit more powerful than any darkness we may encounter. We sometimes lose sight of this force when there is suffering, and too much pain. Then suddenly, the spirit will emerge through the lives of ordinary people who hear a call and answer in ordinary ways.”
— Richard Attenborough

“On Her Shoulders” is one of the Most Spiritually Literate Films of 2018. (Find screenings here.) It provides an emotionally engaging portrait of a Yazidi woman from Iraq who has taken upon herself the daunting task of bearing witness to the genocide perpetrated by the Islamic State (ISIS). She is speaking today for more than her own people. She has become an activist for women victims of rape and the millions of women all over the world who have suffered sexual harassment and abuse.

“Always do what you are afraid to do.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nadia Murad was born and raised in Kojo, a small village in Iraq. Calling herself, a “simple woman with simple dreams and hopes,” she says as a teenager she planned to open a salon to help women see themselves as special. But in 2014, the Islamic State attacked the town with the intention of ethnic cleansing; they were determined to exterminate the Yazidis, an ethnic minority whose monotheistic religion, Yazidism, ISIS regards as esoteric and non-Islamic.

The invaders killed Murad’s mother and six brothers along with 700 people in the village of 2000; only 15 men were left alive. Throughout Iraq, an estimated 5,000 people were killed in the following weeks, and more than 7,000 women and children were captured.

Murad and other younger women were abducted and forced into sexual slavery. She was raped, tortured, and exchanged among the militants. When she was able to escape, she was only 21 years old. Grieving the murders of her family and community members, traumatized by her own terrible violations, she nevertheless made a life-changing decision not to cave into fear but to begin a campaign to honor those who died and those who left Kojo to become homeless refuges. She continually asks, “What must be done so a woman is not a victim of war?”


“Courage is the most important of all virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.”
— Maya Angelou

In the opening scene of On Her Shoulders, Murad is seen receiving the admiration of a pressing crowd of men and women who are immensely appreciative of her telling her own and their stories and advocating for justice for the Yazidis. In speeches before the United Nations Security Council, the United States House of Representatives, and the House of Commons, her courage seems to be gathering momentum. Murad’s vision is affirmed by Secretary General Ban Ki-moon of the United Nations and by the articulate and charismatic Amal Clooney, a British human rights lawyer.

“Freedom is invisible; the chains on any one of my people were the chains on all of them, the chains on all of my people were the chains on me.”
— Nelson Mandela

As vividly portrayed in On Her Shoulders, Nadia Murad has heard a compelling call to share survivor stories and advocate for justice for her people. But her advocacy takes a toll on this remarkable young woman. At times, she admits she would not mind living just a normal life. Fortunately, she has the supporter of her translator and friend, Murad Ismael. He accompanies her to speaking events and gatherings with Yazidi refugees.

Interviewers keep trying to make her into a celebrity, but she insists that it is not her story alone they should be concerned about but what is happening to the thousands of women and girls still held by ISIS and other terrorists. An estimated 5,000 Yazidi people were kidnapped by the Islamic State in 2014 and about 3,000 remain in captivity. Murad insists they must not be forgotten.

In 2016, Murad was named the first United Nations Goodwill Ambassador for the Dignity of Survivors of Human Trafficking. The same year she was awarded the Vaclav Havel Human Rights Prize. In 2018, she and Congolese Dr. Denis Mukwege were jointly awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for “their efforts to end the use of sexual violence as a weapon of war and armed conflict.” She shared the award “with Yazidis, Iraqis, Kurds, other persecuted minorities, and all the countless victims of sexual violence around the world.”

Watching Nadia Murad’s spiritual journey as she bears witness to the killings, violence, and abuses of ISIS, we recognize her very special calling to bring light to those in darkness — those entombed in suffering, depression, and feelings of helplessness. She would probably be the first to humbly say that she is just a young woman speaking the truth. But, oh, what her presence means to the world.

We are reminded of this story by Kent Nerburn in Make Me an Instrument of Your Peace:

“We are not saints, we are not heroes. Our lives are lived in the quiet corners of the ordinary. We build tiny hearth fires, sometimes barely strong enough to give off warmth. But to the person lost in the darkness, our tiny flame may be the road to safety, the path to salvation

“It is not given us to know who is lost in the darkness that surrounds us or even if our light is seen. We can only know that against even the smallest of lights, darkness cannot stand.

“A sailor lost at sea can be guided home by a single candle. A person lost in a wood can be led to safety by a flickering flame. It is not an issue of quality or intensity or purity. It is simply an issue of the presence of light.”

National Cat Day

We here at Spirituality & Practice are great cat lovers! Frederic and Mary Ann have fostered countless cats through the years, finding loving and nurturing homes for their charges. Others became permanent residents and members of the Brussat family. Their current co-habitant is Puja.

Puja Brussat

Patricia and her husband Bo were not looking for a cat when they walked into a pet-supply store one day and saw Angelo — on a field trip from the SPCA — looking soulfully at them with alert green eyes that said, “Take me home!” They needed a mouser and were happy to make Angelo part of their family.

Cats are our teachers, companions, playmates, and so much more. What better way to celebrate them and all their feline relatives than with their own special day (though they most likely think every day is their day!), National Cat Day.

Founded in 2005 by Colleen Paige, a pet and family lifestyle expert and animal behaviorist, National Cat Day helps to galvanize the public “to recognize the number of cats that need to be rescued each year and also to encourage cat lovers to celebrate the cat(s) in their life for the unconditional love and companionship they bestow upon us.”

As Charles Dickens once mused, “What greater gift than the love of a cat?” Today cats can be found in 34% of American households, making them the most popular house pet in the United States. But there are some startling statistics about the fate of cats in the U.S.: “Estimates reveal that there are approximately 4 million cats entering shelters every year with 1 – 2 million being euthanized.” What a terrible waste of opportunities for the sharing of love. Even if you can’t adopt a cat, you can make a donation to a local rescue. Or you can volunteer to clean a cage or sit and play with a cat for a while. Who knows? You may just fall in love!

Cats are masters of attention and being present, but that’s just the tip of the tail of what they have to teach us. In honor of these precious companions, we have gathered some of our favorite resources to help you see all the myriad gifts cats bring to our lives.

To Name This Day:

Quotes

  • “Having five cats around the house helps me have no expectations. They are not goal-fulfilling creatures in any human sense. There is little one can expect of a cat.”
    — Clarice Bryan in Expect Nothing
  • “The same attitude of relaxed gentleness is most beautifully seen when you watch cats climbing trees. When a cat falls out of a tree, it lets go of itself. The cat becomes completely relaxed, and lands lightly on the ground. But if a cat were about to fall out of a tree and suddenly made up its mind that it didn’t want to fall, it would become tense and rigid, and would be just a bag of broken bones upon landing. In the same way, it is the philosophy of the Tao that we are all falling off a tree, at every moment of our lives. As a matter of fact, the moment we were born we were kicked off a precipice and we are falling, and there is nothing that can stop it. So instead of living in a state of chronic tension, and clinging to all sorts of things that are actually falling with us because the whole world is impermanent, be like a cat. Don’t resist it.”
    — Alan Watts in What is Tao?
  • “The love we give to a pet, and receive from a pet, can draw us more deeply into the larger circle of life, into the wonder of our common relationship to our Creator.”
    — Kevin E. Mackin in Blessing the Animals by Lynn L. Caruso
  • “With my cats, I am learning the lesson of the sufficiency of the moment. No yesterday, no tomorrow, only the magic of today, of this single instant. No remorse, no regret, no yearning, just the play of now.”
    — Jeffrey Masson in The Spirit of Silence by John Lane
  • “Cats, in particular, teach us to be ourselves, whatever the odds. A cat, except through force, will never do anything that goes against its nature. Nothing seduces it away from itself. Contemplate ways we can strengthen our resolve to live our lives as who we really are. See the beauty, for instance, in foregoing an ‘important’ meeting or gala events in favor of a warm fire at home and a restorative nap. What makes us purr with contentment? Find it and let it, easily, find you.”
    — Alice Walker in We Are The Ones We Have Been Waiting For
  • “Brother David Steindl-Rast says that anything we do with a whole heart is prayer. By way of example, he recommends that if you come home from a long day too tired to say an Office, to pray a shower. Also to be prayed are gardens, walks, thunderstorms, conversations with cats and other creatures — any awareness or action that engages the core of stillness in which our hearts find wholeness.”
    — Maggie Ross in The Fire of Your Life

Books

  • Cat Sense by John Bradshaw offers a mix of fascinating history about cats and helpful suggestions for caring for these independent animal companions.
  • Guardians of Being by Eckhart Tolle and Patrick McDonnell is a celebration in words and illustrations of dogs and cats as spiritual teachers of stillness, joy, and being present.
  • Zen Cat by Judith Alder and Paul Coughlin contains quotations matched with pictures of cats and kittens.

Children’s Books

  • Captain Cat by Inga Moore is a rousing tale of adventure, cats, and greed based on an old Italian tale.
  • The Cat with Seven Names by Tony Johnston is about a gregarious and wandering cat who visits six lonely people in his neighborhood and becomes their reliable companion.
  • The Coconut Monk by Thich Nhat Hanh is set in Vietnam and models the path of peace and nonviolence through the example of his two animal companions, a cat and a mouse.
  • Homer, the Library Cat by Reeve Lindbergh recounts the quest of a cat who lives in a quiet house with a quiet woman to find another place in his town where silence is appreciated.
  • I Am Tama, Lucky Cat by Wendy Henrichs is about an adorable cat who in return for a monk’s kindness brings good fortune to the temple.
  • Moo Kitty Finds a Home by Valerie Lee Veltre is a heart-touching tale about an abandoned cat and his quest to find a new home.
  • When Cats Dream by Dav Pilkey takes a trip with cats into their dream world.

Book Excerpts

  • In Getting Older Better Pamela Blair offers new vistas for women over fifty. Here is an excerpt on love and how she turns to her cats for physical comfort when her husband travels.
  • Kim Rosen’s Saved by a Poem is an astonishing presentation of the transformational power of poetry. Here is a poem by Jane Hirshfield in which a cat is saluted for being able to live “amid the great vanishing.”

Films

  • Puss in Boots is a razzle-dazzle animated feature about an outlaw cat who dances flamenco; he’s a survivor able to handle all challenges before him.
  • The Rabbi’s Cat is a French animated film about the unusual quest of a rabbi, a skeikh, and a talking cat to discover the essential unity of life.
  • When the Cat’s Away is an irresistibly charming film about the magical and surprising ways in which community is created in large cities.

A Prayer for Healing Action in the World


A Prayer for Healing Action in the World

Upon hearing the heartwrenching and horrifying news of the shooting assault on the Tree of Life Jewish congregation in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, we asked Rabbi Ted Falcon of the Interfaith Amigos for a response. He immediately wrote back to share his reflections with us.

And so we pray this news …

Blessing always calls us to the immediacy of the present moment; it is an invitation to mindfulness. In the case of hearing terrible news, we are invited to share blessing in this form:

“Blessed are You,
Eternal One our God,
Universal Presence,
the True Judge.”

Something bringing pain and suffering has occurred that is outside of our control, and we are asked to be fully present to that pain with energies of blessing.

As the consistent rhetoric encouraging greater polarization and demonization of the “Other” has flooded our country and our world, explosions of violence can hardly be a surprise. While many identify the slaughter of innocent Jewish people in Pittsburgh as a Hate Crime, it is also Domestic Terrorism, and needs to be labeled as such. Anti-Semitism is clearly on the rise, but so is Islamophobia along with racial and gender discrimination. We need to do all we can to change the energies overtaking us.

So our prayers must encourage us to open more fully to the unlimited resources of Love and Oneness behind our individual identities, and express those resources more consistently and more loudly through our words and actions. Our prayers are only real when they stimulate healing actions in the world.

What are the healing actions that are ready now to be expressed through you?

Next Post: A Prayer for Our Role in Climate Change

Four Tips for Selling Yard Equipment Online (Learned the Hard Way)

Reselling an item online seems like one of the more mundane tasks in our digital world. So why does it still feel like fixing cataracts with a rusty safety pin?

Both Craigslist and eBay have been in existence in some form since 1995. Kids who were born at that time can not only drink legally by now, but possibly had their first drinks purchased by parents who made a living selling items on Craigslist and eBay. Now with options like Facebook Marketplace, LetGo, and other online second-hand stores, there are more places than ever to host an online garage sale.

The trick is getting people to follow through and actually buy something.

Since moving into our house five years ago, my wife and I have had tremendous success selling items online. The previous owners left our property filled with items they considered gifts but, more likely, didn’t make the cut when they downsized from a 2,400-square-foot house with a barn and various sheds to a two-bedroom apartment.

We sold a bedframe, box spring, and mattress (we were surprised, too) for $200 to a mother and daughter on their way through town. We sold a large Weber charcoal grill ($250) to a gentleman who somehow crammed it into a Mercedes-Benz convertible. In our greatest coup, we sold a wrought iron spiral staircase — the only indoor stairs to our basement — for full price to a gentleman from Seattle who wanted them for his man cave. The sale price of those stairs paid for us to build an actual basement staircase, which is much more functional for carrying laundry than stairs you’d ascend halfway to pose for a wedding photo.

Selling powered garden tools is another challenge entirely. When we bought the house, it came with a Sears Craftsman LT2000 lawn tractor of unknown age that turned out to be the exact wrong piece of machinery for mowing roughly 1.5 acres of pasture. The 42-inch deck was small, the two blades fared poorly in tall or slightly damp grass, and the mower belt popped loose and was chewed to oblivion any time the terrain got too bumpy… which tends to happen on mole-mounded, uneven pasture.

Selling that lawn tractor turned into a 12-month odyssey that taught me a handful of lessons about reselling this specific niche of home items. Here is that journey in four steps:

April 2017: Craftsman LT2000 riding mower $800 (or best offer)

  • Lesson learned: Know your market

I posted the tractor just after buying a commercial-grade, zero-turn-radius mower built to mow the sides of turnpikes. That mower was the tool for the job, but came with a price tag that I wanted to whittle down by selling the old tractor.

There would be no whittling.

The tractor sat on Cragislist for weeks as other, newer tractors sold for roughly the same price. Those tractors hadn’t had three mower belts replaced within the last year. Those tractors had tires without slow leaks that even tire centers couldn’t identify. Those tractors were built in the 21st century, where it was clear that my Craftsman was old even by driving mower standards. There’s a strong chance that it was 15 or even 20 years old when it hit the market.

When the competition is more reliable and has less wear for the same price, it presents better value for the dollar. I priced my tractor poorly.

October 2017: Craftsman LT2000 riding mower $800

  • Lesson learned: Know your calendar

Know who’s thinking about lawn maintenance in October? Nobody.

My tractor was one of just five listed on Craigslist in my area at the time, but it received maybe three bites. Craigslist customers can be a bit flaky on their best days, but an overpriced lawn tractor being sold in October isn’t going to make them less so. I decided to hold onto it until spring and try again with a new strategy.

March 2018: Craftsman LT2000 riding mower $500 OBO

  • Lesson learned: Know what you’re selling

At $500, my tractor was on par with other similarly aged equipment in a flooded market. However, I posted it on both Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace and received a whole bunch of inquiries that I began scheduling as test drives.

When the first testing day came around, however, it wouldn’t start. I lost that sale and figured that a dead battery was the biggest problem. I noted this in the description and got another inquiry. This person offered to jump start it and said he’d buy it if it would start. Seemingly out of spite, it didn’t.

I changed the battery spark plugs, changed the fuel filter, and fixed a cracked vacuum hose and tried to start it up again. Nope. People will pay $500 for a used mower, but only if it runs.

April 2018: Craftsman LT2000 riding mower $150

  • Lesson learned: Know your limits

By this time, I was receiving suggestions from Craigslist and Facebook posters alike. Some suggested the tractor’s solenoid was no good, others said the fuel pump, while even others suggested it might be a carburetor issue.

I hadn’t used the mower in a year at this point and didn’t want to drop another dime into it. It still had a tag on it from the last time it had been serviced, but I knew I wasn’t going to recoup all of the service hours I’d put into it or the transportation charges from when it had broken down. (P.S. — If you own a tractor of any kind, it also helps to own a utility trailer.) I just wanted it to get to a good home, and not at my expense.

When I posted the tractor to Craigslist and Facebook for the final time at that reduced price, suddenly it was the most popular 20-year-old mower in Oregon. I received dozens of queries within 24 hours, but the best came from a gentleman two towns over. He not only came in at full price, but wanted to convert it into a yard buggy for his wife, who’d developed fibromyalgia and was having a hard time getting around their 18-acre property.

I told him that it was a terrible pasture mower, but would make an excellent buggy or cart. He came to my house in a contractor’s truck with a hydraulic bed, pulled my tractor onto it with a winch (the tractor fought it all the way, locking its rear wheels in defiance), and paid me in cash. He thanked me and handed me a religious leaflet, I wished him well and warned him against driving through the blackberry bramble.

I accept that I’m no expert in these matters but, like many of us, I’m learning as I go. In the spot where that lawn tractor once stood, there’s now a brush cutter, a trimmer and a leaf blower left by the previous owners, all in various states of repair. All have been rendered redundant by a combination tool left to us by my father-in-law’s neighbor, who simply gave it and a number of other tools to him after she and her husband split.

I’ll be selling all of those redundant tools online as well, but I’ll research the market, comparable listings, and the working condition of these items in advance this time around. I probably won’t get rich doing it, but I won’t waste time or money this way, either.

More by Jason Notte:

10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Ask for a Raise


Wise Bread Picks

When was the last time you got a big raise? We’re not talking about the 3 percent raise you should get every year to keep your salary in line with inflation — we’re talking about a noticeable pay bump to reward you for all your hard work. Has it been a while?

You may feel like you’re long overdue for that financial reward, but asking for a raise without first recognizing if the timing is right can set yourself up for a disappointing answer. So before you ask for a raise, ask yourself the following questions first.

1. Is my current salary where it should be for my position?

Salaries for identical roles vary from company-to-company, state-to-state, and country-to-country. You may not have had a significant raise in many years, but that doesn’t mean you should automatically get one. Take a look at a website like Salary.com and search for your current role, your location, and your years of experience. Don’t forget to add in any benefits and bonuses you may get. Now, where do you fall on the chart?

If you’re right at the top of the bell curve, congratulations; you’re getting what the majority of people in your position are getting. If you’re to the right of that peak, you’re actually earning more than average. It’s only if you fall significantly left of center that you should feel a large raise is appropriate. (See also: 5 Times You Should Demand a Raise)

2. When did I last get a raise?

Again, this is going to vary depending on your profession and the current state of your industry. But usually raises are given out annually, so if you had one 10 months ago, you shouldn’t expect to get a warm reception when you ask for more money. If it has been many years since you had any kind of raise beyond the meager 2 to 3 percent, and you have an excellent work history, you are definitely right to approach your supervisor and talk about money.

3. When did I start this job?

That could be read one of two ways; either your start date with the company, or the date of your last promotion. Either way, you should really tread carefully if you start asking for more money without a year of experience in that role under your belt.

Now, you could find that certain promises were not kept with regards to commissions, bonuses, benefits, or other ways you were told you’d be compensated. If that’s the case, make the reasoning watertight. You took the job based on income you’re not receiving, so you would like a bump in pay to make it right.

4. Do I really deserve the hike in salary?

Of course you do, right? Well, maybe not. A fat raise usually accompanies a promotion, more responsibility, or the kind of performance that makes you indispensable. Look at what you’ve done since the last time you got a raise. Have you been good at everything, or have you been outstanding? Did your performance meet the expectations set by your manager, or did it exceed them? Did you hit deadlines and budgets on the head, or did you come in under budget and ahead of schedule?

Sadly, “good” is just not good enough for most companies these days. They expect a dazzling performance month after month before a raise is on the table. (See also: 9 Ways an Annual Self Review Can Boost Your Career)

5. Do I really want more money, or more job satisfaction?

Money makes the world go ’round, but sometimes we find ourselves wanting more money because the job isn’t giving us any other reason to show up. The role may have become stale, or the tasks uninspiring. We’re not fulfilling our potential, and to compensate, we want more money in exchange for the torment we endure.

If your motivation for a raise is that the job just plain sucks, do you really want more money to stay in a role that you don’t like? Is there a better solution? How about a move to a different department, or asking for more challenging opportunities that will help you grow your career? Money isn’t always the answer. (See also: 5 Reasons a Big Paycheck Is Not Worth Staying in a Job You Hate)

6. How’s my company doing?

Unless you’ve been hiding your head in the sand, you should have a good idea of how the company has been doing for the last six months to a year. Is it in a good place, a great place, or have there been troubles?

For a start, any kind of financial issues are going to make your request for money come off as tone deaf. Layoffs, cutbacks, and salary cuts spell trouble for sure, and asking for a raise when everyone is struggling is not going to go over well. Even if you believe you’re being underpaid or really deserve the extra money (for example, if someone was laid off and you’re doing twice the work), you must be careful how you broach the subject. Before going to the boss, put feelers out with human resources or someone in finance. (See also: The Absolute Worst Ways to Ask for a Raise)

7. Can I justify a pay raise?

“Because I deserve one” is not a good answer to the question, “Why should we give you a raise right now?” In fact, you shouldn’t even let your boss get to that question. Instead, make a case for your raise right out of the gate. Start the conversation with something like, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I believe I deserve a pay raise for these reasons.” Then, clearly and confidently explain those reasons. Don’t be pushy, arrogant, or entitled.

Use specifics in your argument. “I’ve been doing a great job” is way too broad. Instead, list performance figures, additional hours worked, weekend work, increased sales, increased customer satisfaction, or whatever else counts as a big plus in your role. If you’re having trouble thinking of any specifics right now, it’s probably not the time to ask for a raise. (See also: How to Negotiate a Raise Out of the Blue)

8. How much do I ask for, and how much will I be happy with?

The two numbers are not the same. In fact, the second will probably dictate the first, because in the negotiation game, it’s always better if you set the “anchor” point rather than the boss.

Let’s say you want no less than a $5,000 raise. You shouldn’t ask for $5,000, because it’s way too easy for the boss to talk you down from that price point (they sure won’t be going up from it unless they’re worried you’re about to quit).

When you’re asked how much of a raise you’d like, go higher than your bare minimum. Maybe you ask for $10,000. If he or she says yes, great! If not, you can start negotiating back down. When it gets down to $5,000, you can accept and be happy. The boss will also be happy that the figure is lower than what you said you wanted. (See also: This Simple Negotiating Trick Puts Money in Your Pocket)

9. Will I accept other benefits instead of money?

Again, is money what you really want, or would you consider other offers that aren’t directly tied to salary? For example, what if you’re given an additional five vacation days per year? That has real value, especially nowadays when we all seem to be working harder than ever. If not that, would you take an offer that lets you work from home one day per week? Or how about getting additional benefits you may not be getting now, like a higher match for your 401(k), or paid conferences out-of-state (or even out of the country)? Consider everything that you could be offered instead of money, and have them in your back pocket if your request is flat-out refused. (See also: Didn’t Get the Raise? Ask for This, Instead)

10. What’s my plan if I’m turned down?

Be prepared for the boss to say no. You shouldn’t expect to get a raise, or the amount you believe you deserve, even if you think it’s overdue. If you walk into the room thinking it’s in the bag, and don’t have a plan for rejection, things could go badly. You don’t want to get upset, angry, or walk out and slam the door.

Instead, thank your superior for his or her time, and ask when a good time would be to revisit the issue. This leaves the possibility of a raise still in the air, and allows you to try again at the appropriate period. Then, go back to doing what you do without holding a grudge or lowering your performance. Work hard, work smart, and that raise will hopefully come soon enough.

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10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Ask for a Raise

Costco Without a Car

When my wife and I moved to Brooklyn, we felt lucky that we wouldn’t need to buy a car. Our apartment was close enough to a subway line and our neighborhood was walkable enough that it didn’t make sense to own a vehicle. That being the case, we had a tough decision to make about our grocery shopping habits. Specifically, what were we going to do about our beloved Costco membership? The nearest store was two miles away. We weren’t sure whether we would get enough value out of our yearly membership given the distance and our lack of a vehicle.

We decided we’d keep the membership and walk to Costco. Call it foolishness driven by an unshakeable addiction to Kirkland brand chocolate-covered almonds, but we were determined to do our bulk shopping without owning a vehicle. Turns out it wasn’t that hard, and it could actually be fun with the right attitude.

There were both physical and mental hurdles to overcome before our first trip. It would be taxing to lug several hundred dollars and at least a hundred pounds’ worth of groceries from Costco to our place. We also worried it might look weird to walk the streets weighed down with so many bags. But in the end, I realized I’m the kind of person who’s willing to try all-potato diets and take freezing cold showers, and my wife is supportive of it all. Weird and difficult wasn’t going to stop us.

The first step of preparation was to get our gear ready. This consisted of grabbing a couple of backpacks and stuffing them with every cloth grocery bag in the apartment. That was it. We could have greatly increased our carrying capacity if we used a rolling bag of the type that’s popular at farmers markets, but we never got around to buying one.

My wife and I are fast walkers who quickly took to the local New York City custom of jaywalking, so the two-mile walk to the store took generally took about 30 minutes. We would then load up our cart like it was any other Costco trip, but with a couple of caveats.

One issue was that we had to be a bit more careful about how much we bought. There’s only so much weight two humans can lug. I’ve done all-out Costco trips where you get a workout just pushing your bulging cart through the parking lot to your car and unloading it. It wouldn’t be feasible to carry that much stuff back on a walk. On average, we spent $200 to $300 on food, which resulted in a challenging but manageable load to haul back.

We also chose to exclude any item that was too bulky, even if it was light and cheap, such as jumbo packs of paper towels. Things like trash cans and furniture were also not feasible to carry back.

Another consideration was the temperature. Our walk back took us considerably longer than 30 minutes, so if it was hot out we limited how many frozen goods we bought.

Barring those minor inconveniences, our trips were a success, and we executed them in all weather. I snapped this picture of my wife doing her best pack mule impression walking back through Brooklyn on a bitterly cold March afternoon:

walking home from costco - costco without a car

That’s four tote bags and a backpack, people! I’ve never been more in love. If I could have sent this to friends and family in lieu of engagement photos, I totally would have. But I digress.

We sometimes wore headphones and listened to the same podcast, which was a fun way to pass the time. There are tons of ways you can make the walk a team building adventure rather than a dreary slog. For example, we once took a different route to explore the city and ended up seeing a famous old cemetery that we never would have visited otherwise.

If you look at it purely from the perspective of how much you value your time, it’s hard to make the case for walking. But how do you account for the exercise, the fresh air, the good conversation, and the sense of accomplishment after overcoming a difficult task?

The exercise aspect was particularly salient. I am all about avoiding gym memberships and incorporating exercise into my everyday routine. Plus, one of the main things I do when I have access to a gym is an exercise where I pick up a heavy set of weights, hold them at my sides, and walk back and forth. It’s a great workout. Does that sound eerily familiar to another activity?

Incorporating physical activity into your everyday life that isn’t structured exercise is a good idea, regardless of whether you’re walking to Costco. It makes it easier to meet the healthy activity level guidelines set by the U.S. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion. As obesity researcher Dr. Stephan Guyenet puts it, “Our distant ancestors had a word for exercise: life.”

Also, yes, I could sit in the comfort of my home and order most of the same things from Amazon or a similar store. That would save time. But what did I want that extra time for if not to spend it with my wife doing a challenging activity that gave us a story to tell and brought us joy? If you’re physically able and you enjoy walking, you can consider cutting out the middleman by getting creative with how you do your grocery shopping.

Biking, Rideshare Services, and the Subway

There are other ways to enjoy shopping at Costco when you don’t own a car but also don’t want to walk both ways.

While living in Brooklyn, we easily could have taken a short subway ride to and from Costco. It would have been a hassle getting through the turnstile with all our bulk bounty, but it’s doable. I saw people carrying large amounts of groceries onto the train all the time.

We currently live in Chicago, where our apartment is even farther from a Costco and there are no good train lines leading to the store. Walking nine miles round-trip is too much for even me to stomach, so we made a new plan: We now walk or bike down to the Costco, and pay for an Uber to bring us back.

We take advantage of a bike-share system offered by the city called Divvy Bike, so we can leave our bikes without worrying about the return trip. If you’re an intrepid bike adventurer who owns a bike with a cargo attachment like Mr. Money Mustache, you can absolutely do the whole Costco trip by bike.

An obvious advantage of using a rideshare service like Uber or Lyft on the way home is that you can buy a lot more stuff. If you’re taking advantage of one of Costco’s big-screen TV deals, for example, hailing an Uber makes a lot of sense.

Each Uber trip back from Costco costs about $12, so we have to make sure that we’re capitalizing on deals that are unique to Costco to make sure it’s worth the extra expense. Thankfully, with some pre-planning, this isn’t hard to do.

Finally, be sure to keep an eye out for deals on rideshare services. For instance, my Platinum Card® from American Express gives me $15 in free Uber credits every month (among other benefits). I rarely go to Costco more than once per month, so I now use my card to get a free ride back from the store every month.

Summing Up

There are many ways to enjoy the benefits of Costco without owning a car — if you’re willing to take a little more time and use a bit more energy. Walking, biking, or using a rideshare service can help you stay in better shape and save money on car ownership. It helps to have an awesome and supportive partner to go with you on the journey, but anyone with the right attitude should be able to have some fun with the process.

More by Drew Housman

How to Prepare Your Money for the Coming Economic Slowdown


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Predicting an economic downturn can seem as mystical and convoluted as reading tea leaves. However, the economic tea-leaf readers — financial experts — are warning that the economic winds are changing.

Even though unemployment is still low, there are other economic indicators causing financial analysts to predict lean financial seasons. First, economic growth has all but stalled. The rate of wage increase has stagnated. The Constant Maturity Treasury (CMT) rates, which are used to measure and predict future interest rates, economic growth, and output, are near flatlining — and threatening inversion. This means that as the economy continues to slow down, consumer interest rates will rise and investment earnings will lose momentum, possibly even losing money.

Preparing for a recession is similar to preparing for a tropical storm: There’s no way to predict just how bad things will get, but burying your head in the sand and hoping for the best is a horrible idea. Here are a few things you can do to stormproof your finances against the coming economic slow down.

Beef up your emergency fund

The first thing you do when prepping for a storm is prepare your home for the onslaught. People in coastal areas board up windows and surround their homes with sandbags. An emergency fund does the same thing financially. It’s the added installation and protection that can assist you when the economy dips. It can’t stop the winds, or prevent the rain, and it may not stave off all damage, but it does provide an added layer of protection. And it provides you a fighting chance to preserve what you’ve worked so hard to build.

The traditional emergency fund is anywhere from three to six months’ worth of daily living expenses — and even larger for people with high expenses, large salaries, or a job that would be difficult to replace. During lean economic times, you want to save more than the standard recommended amount.

Under normal circumstances, the average bout of unemployment lasts roughly three to six months. However, experts believe that number is slowly creeping up and could double in a sluggish economy. It has been suggested that you plan to be unemployed at least one month per every $10,000 you earn. So if you earn $70,000 a year, you should plan for an unemployment that lasts at least seven months. This formula is a great gauge in helping you determine how much you need in your emergency fund. (See also: 7 Easy Ways to Build an Emergency Fund From $0)

Adjust your budget and pay down debt

Another thing people do during an impending natural disaster is purchase supplies and nonperishable food items. This ensures that they will have something to eat during a major power outage and food shortage. Adjusting your budget by reducing expenses in preparation for a financial disaster follows the same principal. Even though during a disaster you can’t eat steak and lobster, you do still eat. The same is true when money is tight.

Your vacation and home improvement plans may have to wait. You may have to forgo expensive advanced educational programs and even take your kids out of private school. The key is to prioritize your expenses, see what extras you can cut, and be prepared to lower the ax when the time comes. It’s also imperative that you stop living on overtime, bonuses, and side-gig money. You should divert that money into your emergency fund or other liquid savings. (See also: 5 Budget Overhaul Tricks for the Recently Unemployed)

You should also focus on aggressively paying down debt. If you can get rid of some of your smaller debts quickly, do it. The less people you owe, the better. And paying off debt acts as a type of de facto savings account, too. Sure, the money isn’t in an account and available for you to access — but if you eliminate debt, you owe less and have more money at your disposal. You’ll also save on the amount of interest you’ll pay over time. Paying down debt is always a fantastic idea; however, it can be your saving grace during a recession. (See also: 5-Day Debt Reduction Plan: Pay It Off)

Strengthen career skills

One nonfinancial thing you want to do when you feel the economic winds of change blowing is evaluate your career skill set. You have a primary job that you do. But you also have a bunch of little ancillary functions you perform. These things translate into job opportunities, or — at the very least — bullets on your resume.

Take time now while you are calm and things are going well to refresh your resume and sharpen or add to your skill set (just ensure you do it without adding debt). Most companies offer training of some sort, and many will also pay all or a portion of training you receive elsewhere. Some companies even have tuition assistance or reimbursement programs. Take advantage of those opportunities now, but be sure you read the fine print and understand the guidelines before you sign on the dotted line. (See also: These 17 Companies Will Help You Repay Your Student Loan)

Re-evaluate your investment portfolio

The stock market usually tanks — or at the very least, becomes extremely volatile — during an economic downturn. Financial experts always advise you not to pull your money out of an investment in a moment of panic. Fear should never drive your decisions.

Go ahead and look at your investment portfolio now and see if there are any changes you’d like to make. Risky funds will probably lose money during a slowdown, but they also rebound quickly during economic recovery. And safer investments may not lose much, but you won’t make much, either. They cancel each other out.

One system or investment style isn’t preferable over another. They all have pros and cons and respond to the highs and lows differently. The key is to assess yourself. Will one heavy loss give you a heart attack? If so, go with something less risky. But if you’re confident you can ride the wave and stand the turbulence of a risky investment, stay put. Be sure you consult a financial fiduciary and get solid financial advice before you decide. Knee-jerk reactions are the quickest way to lose big when it comes to investing. (See also: 8 Ways to Prepare for a Stock Market Dive)

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Ask the Readers: What Is Your Favorite Last-Minute Costume Idea?

Editor’s Note: Congratulations to Suzanne, Avigale, and John for winning this week’s contest!

You hadn’t planned for it, but suddenly, out of nowhere, you are engulfed by the urge…the urge to go to a Halloween event! You don’t have a costume, but that’s okay — there are plenty of creative, frugal costumes that anyone can whip up in a jiffy.

What is your favorite last-minute costume idea? What supplies would you need to put it together? Will you be dressing up for Halloween this year?

Tell us about your favorite last-minute costume idea and we’ll enter you in a drawing to win a $20 Amazon Gift Card!

Win 1 of 3 $20 Amazon Gift Cards

We’re doing three giveaways — here’s how you can win:

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8 Things You No Longer Need to Keep in Your Wallet


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I recently noticed that most days, I never take my wallet out of my pocket at work. I always bring my lunch, and since I don’t need to pay for anything else during the day, my wallet is basically dead weight. I decided to stop carrying it around altogether.

This walletless arrangement was convenient while I was at work, but I needed to remember it when I stopped to buy groceries or gas on the way home. After ending up in the checkout line without a way to pay a few times, I decided to set up mobile payment on my smartphone to avoid needing to run out to my car every time I forgot my wallet.

After my success leaving my wallet behind, I’ve come to realize that if you have a smartphone loaded with the right apps, you no longer need to carry around most of the things that are in your wallet. (See also: 5 Things to Never Keep in Your Wallet)

1. Credit cards

Mobile wallets allow you to use your smartphone instead of a credit card or cash to pay at a growing number of stores and restaurants. These apps are linked to one or more of your credit card accounts and transmit a payment code via near-field communication (NFC) technology to the retail terminal. Security measures are similar to using a chip card that produces a unique payment code for each transaction.

Here are some mobile wallet apps to check out:

2. Checks

Writing a check is one way to transfer money to someone else, but there are apps out there today that allow you to send money from your bank account to anyone simply by using their email address or username. Using a money transfer app means you don’t need to carry checks in your wallet anymore.

Here are some mobile payment apps to check out:

3. Coupons

My coupon collection outgrew my wallet and overflowed into a small accordion file that I keep in my car. Is there any way to replace all of these paper coupons with something more convenient? The answer is yes; there’s an app for that.

Here are some mobile couponing and cash back apps to check out:

4. Store loyalty cards

I used to carry several store loyalty cards in my wallet. These cards have a barcode on the back that the cashier scans so you can get perks and discounts when you shop at your favorite stores. But since you can ask the cashier to look up your store loyalty account using your phone number, you really don’t need to carry the card around in your wallet. If you want a way to use loyalty cards without looking it up with your phone number, there are smartphone apps that can carry digital copies of your store loyalty cards.

Here are a few store loyalty apps to check out:

5. Contact info and account numbers

Another thing that keeps my wallet fat is business cards and small pieces of paper with important information written down — addresses, phone numbers, travel rewards program account numbers, and my consignment store account numbers. There’s no longer a reason to carry stuff like this around and risk losing it or having it stolen. There are apps that let you store digital notes and keep contact information organized and available all the time.

Here are some digital note apps to check out:

6. Insurance cards

Every six months, I get new insurance cards for my car insurance policy and put one in my wallet. I also carry cards for my health, dental, and vision insurance policies. If you’re putting your wallet on a diet, you can get digital insurance cards from many insurance providers to keep on your smartphone. If you want to take matters into your own hands, you can simply take a photo of your insurance cards and show the photo when someone needs your insurance information.

7. Photos

Wallet-sized photos were made for carrying around in your, well, wallet. But it has been decades since I’ve shown anyone photos in my wallet — I use my phone instead. I can store thousands of photos on my phone versus only a few in my wallet. Not to mention I can take pictures with my phone, too.

Apps to check out:

8. Receipts

It can be handy to keep receipts in your wallet in case you need to return something, but this can quickly make your wallet unwieldy. Use a smartphone app instead to digitize and organize your receipts and slim down your wallet.

Here are some receipt organizer apps to check out:

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8 Things You No Longer Need to Keep in Your Wallet

Join Our Tweetchat on Thursday 10/25, 12pm Pacific for a Chance to Win Prizes


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Join our Tweetchat this Thursday at 12:00 pm Pacific for lively conversation and a chance to win one of two $10 Amazon GCs! Use #WBChat to participate.

This week’s topic: Having a Frugal Halloween! Learn about saving on decorations, costumes, throwing a spooky bash, and more! Let us know about your Halloween plans and share with us your top tip for having a frugal Halloween!

For an easy way to keep track of the conversation, try using our special Tweetchat Chatroom.

Anyone can participate, but you must be following @WiseBread and RSVP below to win our prize!

To make it easier for us to keep track of attendees and pick our winners, please RSVP below with your twitter ID (put that in the “Link Title” field) and your twitter URL (put that in the “URL” field, do not put your blog’s url in there). Winners will be selected at random from RSVPs. If a winner is chosen who RSVPed but did not attend a 2nd winner will be chosen.

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